1. |
Soon You Will Disappear
02:34
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2. |
Accidental Death
02:53
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I tried so hard to pass away in my sleep
To drink so fucking much, my liver gave out on me
'Cause I didn't have the heart to pull the trigger myself
And put my mother through the seven circles of hell
I tried so hard to kill myself on all those nights
To shred my lungs into pieces and go towards the light
Cause that night that I looked down from my balcony
Replayed in my head for years, was I strong or weak?
I prayed for accidental death
How would the concrete have felt when my bones cracked like fireworks?
I prayed for accidental death
To rid everyone of the guilt of what they should've done to help
I tried so hard to kill myself
But I just couldn't bear the thought of hurting everybody else
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3. |
Control
02:43
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Swallowing kerosene and I'm dancing with the matches
A walking forest fire and I'm drowning in the ashes
A conscious contradiction sinking further in this mattress
Losing all control, bracing as the plane crashes
I've lost control
Every step is a step towards catastrophe
March on into self inflicted misery
Growing old isn't what I thought it would be
True happiness is an age old fallacy
Happiness is an age old fallacy
I don't remember being a kid
The memories of a carefree life has lost all feeling
The names and faces of a better time
Fade farther away every time I close my eyes
Every step is a step towards catastrophe
March on into self inflicted misery
Every step is a step towards catastrophe
March on into self inflicted misery
I don't remember being a kid
The memories of a carefree life has lost all feeling
The names and faces of a better time
Fade farther away every time I close my eyes
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4. |
Survivor's Guilt
03:25
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My disposition for affliction shackled both my feet
And cast me out into the ocean sinking further in the deep
Fantasizing of my funeral as the flowers wilt
Because surviving isn't worth it with survivor's guilt
Because surviving isn't worth it with survivor's guilt
Begging and pleading staring straight up at the roof at night
Holding back the vomit, tears, just praying it would be alright
And that my heart would stop tonight
I never said it, how I prayed for accidental death
How I wished that every bottle made me draw my final breath
How my heart was just an organ pumping with no purpose
On surface level, I could smile but deep down, I was worthless
On surface level, I could smile but deep down, I felt worthless
Sneaking out under the moon to fill my lungs with ash
Hoping cars would jump the curb and I could not avoid the crash
And that I didn't have to go back
Agony in reverie, like shit to a hoard of flies
Laying eggs in my eye sockets while I'm still alive
A blooming flower on the grave of my unhappiness
The promise of a sudden death whose touch was warm as piss
I prayed for accidental death
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5. |
Ephemeral
02:38
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Running to the light
Running to the light at the end of the tunnel
But will my life begin again?
Running to the light at the end of the tunnel
Where we begin is where it ends
We are nothing more than a blink
A breath, a small glimpse of light taken in by the eye
The paradoxical and ephemeral
Racing against the clock before our final goodbye
Running to the light at the end of the tunnel
But will my life begin again?
Running to the light at the end of the tunnel
Where we begin is where it ends
We are nothing more than a blink
A thought, a gentle kiss from the first love you've ever felt
Constantly skeptical and yet ephemeral
Creating heaven in a linear hell
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6. |
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It doesn't end forever
The day to day mental submission
It's just a way to mend the battle scars
This isn't who I am and not who we are
Lay down your arms
Let me feel the sun
Let my head out of this vice
It's not over but the battle slowly ends
A heavy heart holding heaven in its hands
The foot off my neck giving me a small breath
The air in my lungs fighting hard against...
(death)
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